What Kind of Sick Calculation Does it Take to Want to be Trump's VP?

These people know what's coming and have decided they're fine with it

There’s apparently a close race between several people to be Trump’s VP pick, and they are doing and saying things to endear themselves to Trump in order to be chosen. This has ranged from not committing to accepting the results of the 2024 election, to accompanying Trump to his NY trial and violating his gag order for him, to telling stories about being cruel to dogs.

This is all bizarrely brazen and insane behavior. But the most disturbing aspect of this horserace and the behavior it induces is the mental calculation that one must make at this point to even want to be Trump’s VP.

Here’s what we know about Trump’s history with his VPs:

• never received credit for anything worthwhile they did

• expected to comply with Trump’s wishes, no matter how insane or anathema to the U.S. Constitution or historical norms they may be

• blamed for Trump’s desired outcome not being achieved

• threatened with violence and death by rabid Trump loyalists as a result of Trump’s admonitions

Everyone living in America that pays attention to politics, which should include every single person in the running for his VP, knows the above points. So, think for a moment about the thought process one must go through to want to be Trump’s VP. And, yes, all of the candidates appear to really want it.

As a VP candidate, you’d know you’ll be put on the backburner politically and professionally. A VP is already a fairly forgotten person, famously compared to a “warm bucket of spit” by John Nance Garner, FDR’s VP for two terms¹. But under Trump, this takes on a new level of debasement. You would always be thought of as a product of Trump, no matter how accomplished you are. You would never get credit for any project you successfully complete or be able to take a sliver of limelight from Trump in any way.

The idea that you might have a say in policy implementation that is not in agreement with Trump is laughable. You’d be expected to comply with whatever scheme he or his preferred schemers came up with, tout and spin it in media appearances and other public events, and help make it happen or at least not obstruct it in any way. Basically, to be a jiggling bundle of goo in the corner of the room (not to be confused with warm spit or splattered ketchup), not blocking any typical path of transport for scheming henchmen and henchwomen between doorways or desks.

If you’re actually needed for something, and that thing doesn’t work out, you’ll be singularly blamed for its failure. Not only blamed, but outwardly humiliated and lambasted on whatever social media outlet Trump will be using at the time. You might be called names in person too. You’re at least definitely in for some awkward lunch meetings with your partner-in-governance. Where you may be called emasculating insults. Or, if you’re a woman, it can be assumed the converse of “emasculation” would occur.

If the thing that was being worked on, for which its success you were necessary, was high-stakes enough, a violent mob of government-subsidized secessionists is likely to target you for their next lynching. Militia plots will include you as the star “witness” in their “public trials”.

So why would anyone want to be Trump’s VP? The obvious answer is power and success. But is it this simple? This is generally the same reason that anyone in history has ever wanted to be VP. Even high-minded good-faith public servants are often ambitious and can’t do widespread good without becoming powerful and successfully professionally.

No, to want to be Trump’s VP, you would have to already accept that you will be ignoring institutional norms and warping history to produce a trajectory of principles anathema to the founders and 200 years’ worth of generations. This is because we already know the history of Trump’s wishes and behavior. The VP candidates already know that if Trump wins, then in 2028, he’s not going to want to leave. So whatever cockamamie scheme is cooked up at that time will need a full-throated endorsement by them. So, they need to be willing right now to do this in the future.

Since it’s likely that said scheme will somehow involve the VP and his or her role in counting the Electoral Votes, they will be asked to do something unprecedented and highly unconstitutional. No one knows right now what that thing is, except for maybe a select few fringe lawyers that have already concocted the initial drafts of this scheme. But it doesn’t really matter what the thing is right now. They’ll be asked to do it, and they have to be willing right now to do it.

OR, much less likely, they fully understand the risks of doing the right thing and resisting Trump’s anti-constitutional proclivities—being blamed for not complying, targeted by Trump and his cultists, and be the victim of assassination attempts—but are totally okay with assuming them and dealing with the consequences, which will probably involve constant harassment, death threats, and possibly even death to them and their families. If you know there’s a 99.9% chance all of these things will happen, why would you assume those risks?

The answer is you wouldn’t. So, therefore, all of these candidates have already made the calculation that they won’t assume the risks, they will go along with whatever Trump wants and fight vehemently to achieve their success. This is the only path to survival, power, and professional success under Trump’s regime.

While Trump is a once-in-a-quarter-millennia American phenomenon, the current slate of willing VP candidates is also a new breed. A special brand of enabler. One that is being chosen solely for their unique ability and power to help enact a future attempt at ending our constitutional republic as we know and understand it. And they know it. And for that, they deserve a special place of contempt in our society.

1. It’s unclear exactly how accurate this quote is, but either way, it is a great quote.