Republicans are Apparently Going After the Appliance Fetishist Vote
An appliance-related acronym orgy that would make Porn Hub enthusiasts blush has been scheduled for this week, but may get delayed
When I looked at the House schedule of bills to be considered for the week of April 15, the first thing that came to mind (honestly) was Frank Zappa’s classic satirical concept rock opera album Joes’ Garage, specifically the song “A Token of My Extreme”. In this song, the hero of the story is convinced by a pseudo-scientific cult leader (an obvious spoof of Scientology) that he’s a “latent appliance fetishist”, and that he needs to not come out of the closet, but go into the closet, where a host of appliances can be found to satisfy his desires.
Republicans had originally planned on spending this week in the closet.
There were no less than six (!) bills related to appliances that were on the agenda. Here’s the list:
H.R. 6192 - Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act (or HOOHA. Was this intentional or not? Hard to tell.)
H.R. 7673 - Liberty in Laundry Act
H.R. 7645 - Clothes Dryers Reliability Act
H.R. 7637 - Refrigerator Freedom Act
H.R. 7626 - Affordable Air Conditioning Act
H.R. 7700 - Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards Act (or, in one of the lamest eye-rollingly-too-clever-by-5-billion acronyms ever, SUDS).
This takes the appliance hysteria to a new level. First it was gas stoves, but now it’s a whole army of appliances that are under attack. Never before has housework been so exciting!
On Sunday, April 14, Fox reported that Republicans decided to cancel consideration of these bills, but they remain on the official House calendar. We shall see.
Where did this all come from? It started in late 2022, when the Dept. of Energy introduced proposed rules to impose heftier efficiency standards to several different types of appliances. Then last year, this morphed into the “banning of gas stoves”, something to stoke fears that Federal appliance Nazis were going to bust down the door of any household that had a gas stove and cart it off to the….“gas” chamber, maybe?
Having their most powerful arguments’ effectiveness diminished, namely abortion and immigration, Republicans are reaching for anything they can. Thus, a pivot to what is essentially a regulation issue, but is being treated like a freedom issue. The idea that some powerful force will break down doors and crack skulls to take away your appliances is very much in line with their rage-inducement strategies.
The cancellation of considering these bills is presumably due to a shift of focus on the Iranian bombing of Israel. It makes sense that they would pivot in this way, but something tells me they are angling for something to embarrass or damage Democrats through a forced-vote conundrum, rather than a good faith effort to support Israel or condemn Iran.
And this is how the House is likely to continue operating up to and through the election. They will pivot on a dime anytime they sense political weakness for Democrats. Instead of being a good steward of the Federal government, and passing legislation that helps fix problems and make the country better overall, they will focus on the most rageful red meat of the MAGA base.
Don’t believe me? Think I’m being unfairly cynical? Let’s look over some of the issues taken up by the House so far:
Joe Biden’s impeachment hearings (otherwise known as the “Biden crime family” investigation)
Sec. of Homeland Security Mayorkas’ impeachment
Special Counsel Robert Hur’s testimony (a.k.a, the “Biden is too old and fragile” investigation)
There you go. It’s a short list. But they have been milking them out for months, and will likely continue to. Now add in appliance-gate and whatever stunt they are about to pull on Iran. Plus, I’m sure we can look forward to more “Biden is old” hearings the next time Biden mixes up the leaders of Mauritania and Sudan.
There’s been nothing on inflation, immigration, or Ukraine, three things that could help shape the future of the country and the world. But there’s plenty here for about 10% of the U.S. population to be angry about. And this is inexplicably their strategy.
The initial scheduling of the appliance bills and the abrupt switcheroo away from them in favor of the latest hot-button issue is more like MAGA influencer behavior and less like responsible government in action. Expect more and more of this as the election approaches. Increasing the proportion of the electorate that are rageful raving lunatics is the goal.
But first, a visit to the closet is in order.