Naked and Afraid: A MAGA Hate Story
The saga continues
Picture this: a small group of people in a dark, wet jungle, completely naked, huddled together. Their teeth are chattering, their eyes are darting. They’re scared. They’re vulnerable. They know eyes are watching them, they just don’t know whose or from where. They need to make a decision. To survive, they need to act. NOW.
So they all jump out from the huddle, scatter a bit, and start flailing their arms and screaming at the top of their lungs. Effective? We don’t know yet. But we suspect the jungle predators aren’t too worried. Some are looking at them in confusion. Others are just going to wait until they exhaust themselves and finally shut the fuck up.
This isn’t a pitch for a spinoff of the show “Naked and Afraid”. It is a metaphorical account of the situation MAGA currently finds itself in (although it doesn’t seem too far-fetched for them to engage in polyamorous activities in the jungle).
The leader of the pack
Everyone’s favorite MAGA spokesperson, Marjorie Taylor Greene, is back in the spotlight after promising that she’s going to officially bring a vote to vacate the Speakership to the House floor as soon as this upcoming week. She’s been the loudest MAGA member so far, the leader of the pack.
Speaker Mike Johnson’s main transgressions, from her point of view, has been to recently allow the House to vote and pass basic government funding, renewal of FISA warrant surveillance, and military support for Ukraine. Since about half of House Republicans opposed these things, the other half had to vote alongside almost the whole Democratic conference in order for these to pass.
In addition, it just came out in news reports that one of the reasons Johnson has allowed these votes and been more amenable to the House moving forward with this popular legislation is that Democrats are willing to support him as Speaker and block Marjorie’s attempt to try to vacate the position. This makes his status as Speaker secure.
Her loud, undaunted, and unrelenting criticism of Mike Johnson and Republicans who have voted along with Democrats to actually get things done that the American people want has been like a primal scream in the wind. (I’ve written earlier editions of this saga here and here).
Here’s some of what she’s recently said:
“Now we have Hakeem Jeffries and the Democrats coming out, embracing Mike Johnson with a warm hug and a big, wet, sloppy kiss.”
“We have to have a Republican majority in January, and under Mike Johnson’s leadership we’re not going to have one.”
“Hakeem Jeffries endorsed Mike Johnson, the uniparty Speaker.”
“This whole thing is the most repulsive, disgusting thing happening….I absolutely hate everybody here that is doing this. I seriously hate them for doing this.”
[Regarding the upcoming motion to vacate]: “I can’t wait to see Democrats go out and support a Republican Speaker and have to go home to their primaries. … And I also can’t wait to see my Republican conference show their cards and show who we are.”
So far, the gang of her followers consists of two other people, Thomas Massie (R-KY) and Paul Gosar (R-AZ). How would you like to be stranded on an island jungle with these people? Do you think you’d have high chances of survival? And they don’t get to have their AR-15s.
The undressing
This unrelentingly loud criticism means they’ve laid themselves bare, and have put themselves in a vulnerable position. When going all-in on the uniparty/Mike Johnson = Democrats thing, they have been assuming they have power. It’s hard to understand why, however.
The previous battles they have won are few and far between, but since they were widely reported and got a lot of attention, it has given them the feeling that they were effective. Really, the only battle they won of any significance was the ouster of Kevin McCarthy, who also was passing legislation with the help of Democrats.
The weird thing is that Greene fully supported McCarthy at that time. Hard to know exactly why she was okay with cooperation with Democrats then but not now. Maybe McCarthy had promised her a committee chairmanship or something.
Also, this “victory” was really the result of MAGA arsonist Matt Gaetz wanting payback for McCarthy’s push for Gaetz to be investigated by the House Ethics Committee for his past adult activities with minors. Gaetz riled up the MAGA wing of the House, and they got lost in the excitement of the revolutionary moment (sound familiar?). They probably didn’t realize the mess they would create when Republicans looked foolish as they settled on Johnson for as Speaker. But even he’s not on board with the latest stunts.
And, ironically, the arsonists needed the Democrats’ help to achieve this milestone. Democrats were not in a mood to help McCarthy at that moment.
But not to be outdone, Greene now wants her moment in the spotlight. She had previously had the backing of the Big Guy himself, Donald Trump, in her loud MAGA efforts up to now, so that likely helped her resolve in this moment.
But Trump, not being the most principled individual, has not outwardly backed her. In fact, Mike Johnson met with Trump just prior to allowing the vote on Ukraine, and Trump vocalized support for him: “I stand with the Speaker. He’s doing a really good job under very tough circumstances.”
The flailing
This has left Greene and her followers out to dry, fully exposed and vulnerable. What were their options at this point? Huddled together, naked and afraid, they could have just found a cave or a rock to sleep under. This would perhaps allow themselves time to rest and reassess the landscape. Maybe a new strategy would emerge that could allow them to survive, or save some of their energy for the next battle.
But no, they have decided to swing their arms around and scream, in the hopes that anyone in their path (the media, the American public, other House Republicans) would have to cover their ears and cower while scampering away. Then they would emerge as the ones left standing to impose their will on everyone.
Yes, a pack of three, they assumed, should and could force their will on all of America. There’s no strategy to persuade, evade, or regroup here. Just pure power play. Of three people. In an election year. Republicans will win the majority if they just get their way, they say.
Whether they really think this or not is a hard to determine. MAGA is pretty good at burning something down, and then blaming the ashes on others. It’s apparent that Republicans are likely not going to win the majority in the 2024 election. So why not say now that the reason is because Mike Johnson is cooperating with Democrats?
Surely, it’s not because of Republican debacle after debacle, from the McCarthy ouster to the failed impeachment and Hunter Biden investigations. It’s only because the American people absolutely do not want bipartisanship. They only want government to not function and Russia to get anything they want.
What they’re likely to find out is that, just like the jungle creatures licking their chops at the meal before them, American politics can be an unforgiving beast, and if you poke the beast too much, it will finally have its way with you.
As far as the Democrats are concerned, they might make a surgical selection of support for Mike Johnson. I suggest it be composed specifically of Hakeem Jeffries himself and enough of the House Democratic leadership to guarantee Johnson's position, and those House Democrats alone. This would advertise: 1.) that it was a deliberate decision of the Democrats as a group; 2.) that they have effective internal coordination and leadership under Jeffries. a good thing in a prospective House Speaker--this would advertise that to prospective voters in November; and 3.) that they are publicly declaring explicit, but limited, support of Johnson against the MAGAt crazies.